Once upon a time there was 3 little pigs, they were called:
and they all lived very happy in their 3 oh so very different houses!
Buch lived in a crude straw house!
Aston lived in a broken wooden house!
Pillows lived in a very pretty brick house!
And every day in the morning the 3 little pigs would come together and talk about the BIG…. BAD…. WOLF… Captainboner!
and how they can protect themselves from being eaten!
Aston said: Lets throw sticks at him! that way he would be so busy laughing at us we would have time to run away!
But Buch said that’s silly! When he is done laughing he will run and catch us! The boner wolf is very fast… and very bad! I think we should sacrifice MissPillows!
That way he will not be hungry anymore when he is done eating her!
But Pillows said thats just silly Buch! For what will happen if he is still hungry? And just like that the 3 little piggies were at a sad loss at what to do…
But then! A voice from the heavens echoed across all the lands and said to them:
“HO! HO! HO! My 3 Little piggies! Fret No more! For as long as you stay inside your homes at night you will have nothing to fear from the big bad wolf!”
And all 3 piggies nodded in agreement that no matter what happens they will always stay inside their homes at night! and never visit each other and so they will know if the big bad wolf would be trying to trick them if he tried to pretend it was 1 of the little piggies.
And so it came to be that the 3 little piggies settled into their plan!
Buch would spend his nights having a tea party with his tea party friends!
Their names were …….Pyrocancer – Pangelang – Russki – Andy ………………
and all night and every night they would drink tea and party!
Aston on the other hand would spend his night chomping on England’s most famed and prized food… THE FISH N CHIPS!
And all night every night he would NOM NOM NOM NOM ! and be very fat!
Pillows on the other hand in his shiny luxurious brick house would be enjoying a very romantic candle lit dinner!
With his faithful and ever loving companion MissPillows!
But one day… As the 3 little piggies were safely tucked into their homes enjoying their tea parties… food marathons… and candle lit dinners… The big BAD wolf came… huffing and puffing… and muttering under his breath… “the nerve….!”
And he was ever so hungry for nothing could satisfy his hunger!
And with a HUFF! and a PUFF! he smelled the 3 little pigs in their homes! and he first came to the brick house… and knocked!
“OH HEY little piggy… I am so very cold from this weather could I please take shelter in your lovely brick home?”
But Pillows being super smart! knew right away it was the BIG BAD WOLF! and replied…
“Captainboner! I know it is thou – THE BIG BAD WOLF! Release your couriers into the wild elsewhere!”
And with a HUFF! and a PUFF! the big bad wolf learnt and moved onto the next house… the wooden house! and knocked…
“Oh Hey little piggy! I am so lonely tonight! I would like some company tonight!…”
But Aston being a hungry piggy too was too busy nom nomming his fish n chips and didn’t hear the big bad wolf!…
so the big BAD wolf annoyed and frustated moved on to the last little piggies home and knocked…
“OH HEY little piggy! quick quick! there is a fire in my house! I need your help! help! help!”
and Buch being oh so very silly quickly opened the door and cried as soon as he realised his mistake! OH, no! its the big bad wolf Captainboner! what shall I do!?
And the big bad wolf victorious, gobbled up Buch and with a HUFF! and a PUFF! he was satisfied and left, Buchs tea party friends had hidden in their tea cups and escaped the big BAD wolf’s terrible claws…